


Is It Love - Carter Corp, Ryan Season 3

by AzhureAxis



Series: Is It Love? Ryan [2]
Category: Claire Zamora - 1492 Studios, Is It Love? Carter Corp - Ryan, Is It Love? World
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:47:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzhureAxis/pseuds/AzhureAxis
Summary: A reminder that the Carter Corp characters are not mine. They belong to Claire Zamora and the 1492 Studios team. Any similarities to the second season of Claire Zamora's story are purely coincidental as my story was drafted before the release of the game.After recovering from the kidnapping and beating, Gwen Richmond tries to put her life back to normal but everything is changing and things are becoming out of her control. Her fiancee and employer, Ryan Carter, owner of Carter Corporation, is struggling with how to help Gwen as she finds her place and with the onset of post-traumatic stress.The couple finds the need to navigate between old flames, over-zealous media outlets, new positions and corporate rivalry. Can Gwen and Ryan's relationship survive all the ups and downs that are about to hit them? Will they be strong enough to withstand the worst thing to happen to them as a couple? Keep reading and you'll find out!
Relationships: Ryan Carter & Gwen Richmond (Carter)
Series: Is It Love? Ryan [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1477010
Comments: 14
Kudos: 9





	1. Recovery and Adjustment

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank you for continuing to support my work. I am also grateful for your patience. My family and I have gone through a lot the last four/five months and I really needed to take the month of December to have a mental health month, focus on the wonderful things that the holidays bring us. 2020 is now upon us and I feel clear-headed and ready to bring you the next segment of my fanfiction. So without further to-do let's begin!

Gwen Richmond stood up and walked to the podium at the front of the room. She became more confident in her public speaking since attending her narcotics anonymous meetings however standing up and telling her story was the hardest part. It’d been six weeks since Julio Rivera, a drug lord with a long-suffering grudge had taken away her eight years of sobriety, four weeks since she woke up from her medically induced coma and two weeks since she’d been home. Tomorrow was going to be her first day back to work and she thought it was a good idea to share her fears about returning to work.

“Hi, my name is Gwen and I’m a heroin addict.”

“Hi, Gwen!” the audience called out.

“I’ve been sober for six weeks now. As many of you know, I had been sober for eight years before someone took my sobriety away from me. Six weeks seems so small compared but I know it’s so big. I’m not angry anymore. I’m thankful for the good this has given me, although I had never come to these meetings the first time and it’s a miracle I kept away from my addiction without support. Today, I find myself a little on edge. I’m healing from my physical wounds but my emotional ones are just now hitting the surface. I return to work, where this person took me from the people I love and subjected me to drugs and violence. I’m worried that because up to this point I’ve been happy and the people supporting me may not understand why I might start having problems…adjusting. I’m grateful to be clean again. I’m grateful for your support for simply listening. Thank you.”

As everyone clapped, the coordinator came up and hugged Gwen before announcing that they were going to break for thirty minutes. Gwen went to grab a coffee and grabbed her phone to check her messages. She was happy not to require two phones anymore. Her family from Indiana called her regularly to check in on how she was doing. Though she was at home, she was working hard on the Hope For Children Foundation. The doctor only recommended her staying home for a couple of weeks to allow her body to get used to everyday things like walking around, stairs and so on.

To her surprise, her fiancée, Ryan Carter, had pre-signed the house they were looking at buying and had brought her there when they came back from the hospital in Indianapolis, instead of her small one-bedroom apartment. He had taken the liberty of having the master bedroom done up so they could enjoy their home right away. But the rest of the house was empty and needed attention so for the last two weeks she spent time hiring painters, picking out colours, furniture and artwork. There wasn’t much to move from her apartment and Ryan only had the beach house which needed its furniture - it was a great pet project. She especially enjoyed decorating their shared office. But now it was time to go back to work at the office and the idea scared her. Flashbacks of getting that phone call from Julio, writing that heartbreaking goodbye note to Ryan, exiting the elevator in the parking garage and then driving off with Julio who had a gun pointed at her in case she decided to pull something on him. She felt a shiver go across her body at the memory and had to take a moment to breathe. He couldn’t hurt her anymore, he was in a super-maximum prison and his fate had been sealed. 

She took a sip of her coffee and read through her messages. Ryan had messaged her that his evening client meeting was cancelled and he would be heading home as soon as he had finished with the department head meeting. Lisa messaged her about how crazy it’s been since she’d been away and that Ryan is relentless with his work demands. Gwen had to giggle, only Lisa could get away with complaining about Ryan and only because she understood the pressures of being Ryan’s executive assistant. Further messages from her other friends in the form of ‘Can’t wait to see you tomorrow’ clogged up her phone’s notification feed. There was one from her bodyguard and driver - Hank Rigger, saying that he had to step out for an errand but would be back in time to pick her up after the meeting was done. 

A bell marking two minutes until they started up again rang and everyone started milling back to their seats. Three more people got up to speak, all at different stages of their sobriety and all different drugs. The descriptions of the high the drug gave them were similar but for some, it unleashed an alter ego. Gwen could understand that. At the end of the meeting, she saw Hank waiting outside the double doors. Other than Ryan, Hank was a constant in her daily life as her driver and bodyguard, but most of the time her friend. Gwen smiled at all the time they had spent together in the past two weeks. She got up and picked up her purse and started to make her way towards him when a pretty blonde just a little taller than her stopped Gwen and introduced herself.

“Hi my name is Carol, I’ve been listening to you ever since you came in two weeks ago and I can’t believe the progress you’ve made. I’ve been sober for nine years and I was wondering if you would be interested in having a sponsor, a friend to call if you find yourself struggling. Especially if your use is triggered by any post-traumatic stress.”

“Oh well, I don’t know.”

“Oh my I didn’t even think, you must already have a sponsor from your first round of sobriety.”

“Actually no, I had a lot to hide back then, couldn’t risk anyone finding out who I was, so I just did things on my own. I wouldn’t even know what to do with a sponsor.”

“Well like I said, consider it more like having a girlfriend who gets what you are going through. A shoulder to lean on during the dark moments.”

“Let me think about it. My fiancée is very particular on who I associate with, because of his business, so I would need to run it by him first. How about I meet you for lunch at Grunwald’s on Thursday around noon? I can let you know my answer then.”

“That sounds great. See you then.”

Gwen left and followed Hank into her town car. When they pulled into the driveway Ryan was already home, Gwen wished Hank a good night and headed toward the house as Hank drove off. A warm, delicious smell wafted from the kitchen indicating Ryan was cooking supper, Gwen cursed herself for being so late. She placed her purse on the hook with her keys and took off her shoes at the door. Making her way to the kitchen she could hear Ryan humming to the song on the radio. She couldn’t help but grin at the sound. Ryan was a decent singer but it was very rare to hear him sing. 

As she pushed the door open into the kitchen Gwen found Ryan completely immersed in what he was doing that it took him a full two minutes to even notice her standing there. 

“You’re home.” Ryan put down the frying pan of vegetables that he was tossing and walked over to kiss her. He was wearing her favourite gingham apron. She needed to buy him an apron of his own. While she was glad he was man enough to wear her frilly apron, he would be so very embarrassed if anyone other than Gwen saw him in it.

“You’re cooking,” Gwen replied. “I’m sorry I was so late, the meeting went longer than I anticipated.”

“That’s alright I knew where you were and thought since my evening freed up I’d make us a romantic candlelit dinner.”

“Can I help with anything?”

“Set the table for me?”

“Absolutely. And may I say how fetching you are in that apron.”

“With all the things you bought for this kitchen, you couldn’t buy a new apron?”

“You know that deep down you love that apron.”

“Only around you. Now go set the table I’m almost done.”

“Maybe add a bit more garlic to your sauce…”

“You know the rules if I’m making dinner you are not allowed to make suggestions. Now go before I banish you altogether.”

Gwen giggled at the threat of being banished from the kitchen. She loved cooking. So much so that she had a blog and she would post recipes of food that she saw online and tweaking it to make it her own. Since being back from Indianapolis, Gwen had been able to amp up her presence on her blog. It helped that she had a lot of material to use starting over in a new kitchen. She exited the room into the butler pantry and grabbed what she needed for the table before heading into the dining room. It was an elegant room that she prided herself in. To be honest she prided herself in the whole house but certain rooms stood out. This was one of those rooms. Below the plate rail was a dark navy paint with gold leaf stencil painted over it. Above the plate rail, an original plaster design accented the corners and ceiling so all she had to do was give it a fresh coat of white. The plate rail and trim work were all solid oak, with a dark stain that complemented the oak wood floors. A couple of pieces of art were hung on the opposite wall of the windows and a complete set of vintage dining ware were set up on the plate rail. Much like the previous owner, she found a vintage fourteen person dining table to finish the elegant feel. 

Ryan and Gwen tended to eat in the dining nook in the kitchen but every once in a while they enjoyed their dinner in the dining room. She placed the placemats, dining ware and a couple of wine glasses. From what she saw on the stove she figured it to be a red wine night. She poured the wine in the decanter and placed it next to the glasses on the table. There was a sink in the pantry where she was able to fill a pitcher of water and placed it on the table with water glasses. When she was done Ryan came out with the meal and placed it on the table. He then pulled out her chair before sitting down on his own. Ryan took a whiff of the wine before pouring it.

“Good choice. How was your day today?”

“Good, I finished setting up the guest rooms. We are officially done decorating the house.”

“Just in time to have people over I guess.”

“I’m excited to have a grill out this summer. It’ll be nice to have all of our friends over.”

“How did your meeting go?”

“Good, I met a woman who asked if I’d be interested in having her as my sponsor.”

“And is that good?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never had a sponsor. I didn’t have one the first time, but that was only because I was keeping my identity a secret. But now, it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to call if I find I’m struggling.”

“Well, I’m here for you.”

“It’s different. You aren’t an addict. Except with work, seriously calling the department heads in on a Sunday?”

“I know it’s different,” Ryan said with a touch of sadness in his voice, the idea that he couldn’t be her only source of comfort hit him harder than he thought it would. “Well, as long as you keep it to your addiction and be careful not to divulge any work stuff, I don’t see why not.”

“Thanks, I have a lunch date planned for Thursday. I’m still going to think about it. See how my week goes before I commit to having someone come into my life.”

“And for your information, it’s not an addiction to work if you are the owner and CEO of the company. My business doesn’t sleep.”

“I know I was just poking fun.” Gwen put her hand on his arm and smiled. “How is Lisa holding up?”

“She’s doing well, I’m bringing her on permanently as my assistant.” Ryan realized what he said and he braced himself for Gwen’s reaction.

“Uh, why? I’m your assistant and I’m coming back tomorrow.” Gwen looked over at him with shock and a touch of anger dancing in her eyes.

“And you still are and I know you are coming back but you’ll be working on Hope for Children Foundation. Setting up a charity is a lot of work on its own and so is being my assistant, it would be too much work to handle even if you hadn’t gone through everything this past month. It has nothing to do with your job performance or me coddling you after what happened. This is about me needing more help, not you. Lisa will be my primary assistant until you get the foundation and your team established and then we will go from there.”

“Do I need to relinquish my office?” Gwen couldn’t help but have a snarky tone 

“No.” Ryan instinctually returned the snark before putting his hands on her arm. “There is an empty office we can put Lisa in for now.”

“Alright.” Gwen didn’t sound convinced but returned to her meal with a smile to dissuade Ryan of the anxiety building up inside her.

~

Ryan woke up at three in the morning to the home phone ringing. He got out of bed as quickly as he could without waking up Gwen. He rushed to his office and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Ryan said clearing the grogginess from his voice.

“Hey Ryan, it’s Andersen. Sorry for calling so early but I need you down here in Houston for a breakfast meeting. Domtar is furious about some work and will only meet with you.”

“Ok, I’ll be there, email Lisa with the details.”

Ryan hung up the phone and dialled Lisa’s number to give her a heads up. While it rang Ryan texted Jake to head to Lisa’s to pick her up then a groggy female voice answered.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Lisa. We need to go down to Houston, Jake will be at your place to pick you up in twenty minutes. Go to the office and get the Domtar files, there are digital and physical files to get. I will meet you at the jet by five”

“Domtar files, jet by five, Jake twenty minutes. Got it” Lisa hung up without waiting to hear anything else.

Ryan wasn’t happy about this, he wanted to be there to help Gwen through her first day back. It’s not that he didn’t think she could do it on her own, she had been working on the foundation from home, but Ryan worried about the pressure of the first day back. After he got out of the shower and dressed, he texted Gabriel to take his place at introducing her team and helping her out where she needed it. He almost walked out of the bedroom door without saying goodbye. He hated waking her up but if he didn’t he’d feel bad all day for just rushing out.

“Gwen, sweetheart.” Gwen moaned in response. “I’ve got to go to Houston for an unexpected breakfast meeting. I’m sorry I won’t be able to take you in today.”

“What?! Do you need me to go with you?” Gwen started getting out of bed but Ryan gently eased her down.  _ Ugh, she’s going to fight this change of job position. _

“No, Lisa’s on it. Remember you need to focus on the Hope for Children Foundation.”

“Sure. Have a safe flight.” He could grasp a little resentment in her sleepy tone.

“Of course.” Ryan leaned in to kiss her then headed downstairs. Gwen rolled over and hid under the covers.  _ If only she’d be patient enough to wait until I had the green light from the board, she would be running a whole branch of the corporation. _ Ryan closed the front and locked the door as quietly as he could, got into the Aston Martin and drove to the airport. He hadn’t ridden in it very much since he had Jake pick it up from the airport after Gwen was taken. She didn’t tell him much about how it all went down, he just knew this car gave off some bad vibes ever since.

Jake and Lisa were already on the plane. Lisa Parker, normally bright-eyed and bushy-tailed had a look of death about her. She glared at Ryan as he got on the plane and signalled the pilot that they were ready to go.

“Did you get Andersen’s email?” Ryan took his seat and opened his laptop, oblivious to Lisa’s gaze.

“Yes, I sent the Domtar files to your email.” Lisa’s tone was curt as she continued to stare him down.

“Did he tell you exactly what went wrong?” Ryan continued to work on his laptop.

“Apparently the Communications Manager promised to have their promotional materials done by a certain deadline, completely missed the mark and then started accusing the client of being too demanding and that he never agreed to such an auspicious deadline in the first place.”

“So this is purely damage control.” Shaking his head Ryan closed his laptop a little forcefully and looked out the window of the airplane.

“Domtar is one of our biggest oil clients, to lose them means the loss of major revenue that we can’t afford. Most of our clients from Houston are only there because of Domtar.” Lisa wasn’t looking at him now but had her tablet open to personnel folders from the Houston office.

“Good grief. Who is the Communications Manager?” Ryan turned from the window and opened a notes program on his phone to jot down the information Lisa was going to start giving him.

“Elliot Reed. He’s been working for Carter Corp since 2012, so six years of service. He showed lots of potentials and moved up the company line fairly quickly, he’s been the communications manager for four years.”

“Any intel on how he managed such a quick promotion?”

“Seems as though he kept his head down and worked hard. Yearly progress reports look like As on a report card. This could entirely be a case of power gone to his head, he may have been distracted when he agreed.”

“Look into the past two years, I want to see if we’ve either not acquired clients or had clients drop us because of him. The Projects Department should have records of all client and potential client meetings that they diverted to Mr. Reed.” Ryan put his phone down, he relied on his department heads and managers to run his company smoothly and he hated even the smallest amount of hand-holding.

“Ok.” Lisa typed up a message to the Project Department Head for the information than closed her laptop. “On a non-work related matter. Next time before you ramble off your to-do list at three in the morning, feel free to tell a girl who you are. For a moment there you sounded like my father and that my friend is not a pleasant thing to wake up to.”

“Sorry, bad habit.” Ryan laughed out loud. 

“Did you do that to Gwen?” Lisa relaxed now that she got that issue off her chest.

“When we weren’t living together? All the time. Not always for work though.” Ryan winked and grinned. Lisa just shook her head and threw a pen towards his face. “Speaking of Gwen, I want to run something by you.”

“If you are referring to her birthday coming up in a week, I’m all ears.”

“Surprise party?” Lisa sat up straight in her chair looking excited.

“She says she hates surprises, so that’s a yes. What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, she mentioned having everyone over for a grill out to show off the house but that would mean she would be in the kitchen and we can’t have that.” 

“Starlite?” Gwen loved going to Starlite and after the first time they went together Ryan loved going there too.

“Yeah, it’s been a while since we hit up that place. They have a room in the back you can rent and they have a caterer on hand. You were just thinking about the gang though right? Because I’d have to say that she’ll kill you if you make it one of your big to-dos.”

“Just the gang then. I’m glad you brought it up because your right I would have probably gone overboard with the guest list. I think she’s a bit miffed about the Executive Assistant position.”

“You told her you hired me permanently?” At first, Lisa was shocked and then Ryan could read  _ ‘You idiot’  _ across Lisa’s face.

“Yes, was that bad?” he asked the question even though he knew the answer.

“The day before she’s supposed to go back to work after being out for a month …. yes!”

“We were talking last night it just seemed to fit into the conversation.”

“You boys never know when to keep your mouths shut do you?”

“I guess not.” Ryan laughed. When they were not at work Lisa treated him like any other friend but still managed to switch gears at work and remain completely professional. “I wish I could tell her about the CEO position of Carter Foundation but one: I don’t know if she’s even got it and two: I want to make a big deal about it.”

“She’ll understand once she’s in the thick of the work. Right now she just wants things to be normal and being your assistant is normal for her.”

They had to circle for half an hour because of congestion at the airport, they landed and went through security just in time for Ryan to take a car over to the restaurant while Lisa took another car to the office. Ryan went over the work order Domtar had sent to the company and which staffer was assigned to it from Elliot Reed. He messaged Lisa the names of the staffers and had her schedule them in for a meeting after lunch with him in the tenth-floor conference room. Jake pulled up to the restaurant and Ryan instructed him to find appropriate parking and then grab himself something to eat. It was a pretty posh place, Ryan had breakfast at this restaurant before. When he walked in he saw Andersen stand up.  _ Seems the Domtar contact is already here. _

“Good morning gentlemen, sorry it took me so long to get here.”

“Mr. Carter this is Mr. Raft he is the COO of Domtar.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Raft.”

“Oh well, the pleasure is mine, Carter. Please sit down, we’ve got lots of time to discuss business, get yourself a coffee and something to eat, can’t imagine your fiancée was up to make you breakfast this morning. How is Miss Richmond doing? Is she here today?”

“Gwen is doing well and no she’s head of the Hope for Children Project so my newest assistant Miss Parker joined us today.”

“Don’t tell me you’re banging her too? I like Miss Richmond.”

“I’m not “banging” Miss Parker, sir. I like Miss Richmond too.”

Mr. Raft was in his mid-sixties, gray and balding hair, wrinkled skin with sunspots on his face, clearly from a different generation where it was alright to talk about “banging” the assistants. Ryan was sure that Mr. Raft had his fair share of assistants, but Mr. Raft had also been married for most of his career. They were two very different men. The waiter came and took Ryan’s order, he was itching to get down to business.

“Mr. Raft…” the elder gentlemen cut Ryan off with a way of his hand.

“Slow down Carter, I have someone else attending this meeting so just be patient and tell me about this Hope for Children Foundation the little woman’s working on.”

Ryan swallowed hard, he could see Andersen lean back as if to give him room to jump over the table and punch the old man. Gwen had dealt with Mr. Raft in the past and Ryan had got an earful about how degrading and vile Mr. Raft could be. Ryan has felt intensely protective of Gwen since the first day he saw her, but he kept his composure, she wouldn’t want him losing the biggest client in Texas.

“Miss Richmond put a plan together to either renovate or find a suitable replacement building for each orphanage in New York. After the renovations, the plan is to have a fund available, mostly to help orphaned children get money for educational purposes but to also help support the orphanages’ needs. Right now she’s signing local contractors to do the work and getting a fundraising gala up on the calendar.” 

“And when are you planning on bringing this program to your other cities?” Raft drummed his fingers on the table, his tone suggested that they should have brought the program to Houston first.

“I don’t know that answer I will have Miss Richmond get back to you about that. Andersen, can you make a note for me to speak with Miss Richmond on that.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sorry if Miss Parker had been able to join us I would have her taking notes but she’s dealing with another client.”

“Not a problem Mr. Carter.” Andersen nodded to his friend. They were good at playing employee and employer even though they were business partners.

“And how is she doing after that whole fiasco in Indiana?” Mr. Raft was so nonchalant mentioning the ‘fiasco’ that Ryan felt a twitch below his eye.  _ Keep your cool Carter. _

“She is fairing well. Today is her first day back full time. She’s been working from home for the past two weeks while she recovered.”

“So you finally found someone as much of a workaholic like you.”

“I guess you can say that.” Ryan gave a sarcastic laugh. He only had to keep this man happy for this meeting and then Ryan would have a conversation with the CEO of Domtar.

“Ah here’s my associate now.”

A young man around Ryan’s age walked up to the table. He had a full head of luscious black hair, sharp green eyes and olive skin.

“Mr. Carter this is Steven Connolly, he is up to replace me when I retire or die. I always pray for the latter.”

“Mr. Carter.” Connolly offered his hand to Ryan. His grip was firm and Ryan felt like he would get along well. 

“Mr. Connolly.”

They sat down as the waiter was coming with Ryan’s coffee. He quickly ordered and put his elbows on the table.

“Mr. Carter, I’m appalled at what has taken place here. We hired your company to manage our communications and because of this blunder we stand to lose a couple of million dollars.”

“I assure you, Mr. Connolly, I’m appalled as well and after this meeting, I will personally look into the problem.”

“Your problem is Elliot Reed. He’s a two-timing backstabbing weasel. First of all, the way he and his department head got us on board for this project was with false promises which at first got us worried but then follow up by making further promises at being able to get the work we needed to be done in a day. We relied on that information and now look like we have no clue.”

“You’re saying that both Mr. Fife and Mr. Reed signed contracts with you under pretenses?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t get a chance to review the contract. Do you mind if I do so while we eat and then we can come up with a solution? I have a team in New York that has done files with twelve hours notice, as long as they are capable of doing what you’ve asked us to do then my team here should be just as effective. If not, then I’ll be sure to make some changes.”

“Of course, take your time reviewing the contract.”

Ryan looked over the contract. Indeed Mr. Fife had signed off on work that Carter Corp had never done before for a company. As he read over the contract he highlighted and flagged various changes to the typical contract that he never would’ve approved. Once everyone was done their breakfast, Ryan sat back and folded his hands.

“The contract of work you signed was beyond what any of my teams have ever done in the past and I apologize to you sincerely, all these contract changes weren’t sent to me before you signed. I would’ve come down here personally and negotiated with you on timelines and deadlines that would’ve been much more appropriate. Now that being said, I have a girl in my New York office who does phenomenal work and she can have what you want in three days. I will even fly her down here so she can work with you and maybe get it to you earlier, but the work you are asking for cannot be done with twelve hours notice as your contract states and my two senior employees shouldn’t have made you believe that. All that being said, I want to keep you as clients so I will send this to my New York Project Department Head and have him redraft according to the standards we have and get it to you by end of the day.”

“That sounds great. Three days is perfectly fine, we were surprised that they didn’t give us those terms but it sounded great being able to dump things last minute because we do indeed get last-minute projects ourselves.”

“Good, I will contact you this evening about the new contract in the meantime I’ll get my employee from New York down here to start working on your project.” Ryan got up as all the other men did and shook hands with Mr. Raft and Mr. Connolly.

Andersen folded up his notebook and followed Ryan out. Ryan turned around, pulling out his wallet and discreetly slipping him a credit card.

“Andersen take my card and pay the bill then meet me back at the office.”

“Alright, here are your notes. Just one question, were you going to pop the old man in the face when he called Gwen ‘the little woman’?” Andersen snickered. He’d only met Gwen recently but Andersen knew she’s the type of woman who wouldn’t stand being called that.

Ryan raised his hand and put his index finger and thumb all but together. “This close Andersen, this close.”


	2. The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen's first day back wasn't what she imagined and she realizes that getting back into the game might be more exhausting than she realized.

Gwen left the house at eight in the morning. Ryan and Lisa would still be in the air, he had messaged her when they took off at seven after some delays at the airport, so she didn’t bother texting either one of them. Hank waited for her in the driveway, he had a big smile on his face.

“Ready for your first day back, ma’am?” Hank opened the door and Gwen slid into the back of the car.

“Absolutely.”

Gwen was reading the updates her team had sent her over the weekend regarding the Hope for Children Foundation. She was disappointed that there wasn’t much being done; with the contractors in a stand-off, there wasn’t any progress on the gala either. They seemed to be in a rut and it had only been the first two weeks of the project. She messaged the team for a meeting in the conference room on the 50 th floor for ten that morning. When Hank pulled up to turn into the parking garage Gwen felt a sudden panic.

“Uh Hank, can you just pull up to the front door please?”

Hank looked in the rearview mirror and saw the panicked look in her eyes. Without a word, he pulled up to the front doors. She gathered her papers and tablet putting them in her bag. Hank drove away once her door was closed to park the car. Arthur the security guard stopped her before she scanned her tag in which would open the employee’s only door.

“I’m sorry Miss Richmond, you’ll have to go to security and get a new badge. Mr. Carter upgraded the security system last week. I thought he would’ve told you.” He indicated towards the other door for the public.

“Well, Arthur there is a lot Mr. Carter doesn’t tell me simply because he has too much on his plate.” Gwen grinned at the older gentleman, it would be something that anyone would assume.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Gwen went back out and entered through the public doors and into the security office. She noticed a new girl in Lisa’s usual place. It would be sad not seeing Lisa’s bright face in the morning anymore. After getting her new badge, she saw Hank was just walking through the employee security when she caught up to him. He followed her as she made a beeline to the elevator. He noticed one of the secretary’s getting up and scurrying across towards Gwen.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Gwen didn’t hear her and so Hank tapped her on the shoulder. “Ma’am, I’m sorry you need to wait in the lobby for your appointment.” The woman was around Gwen’s height and age with jet black hair piled on the top of her head in an intricate bun. She wore a white blouse and navy blue skirt that ended at her knees and four-inch black Manolo pumps.

“I beg your pardon?” Gwen turned to look at this woman curiously.  _ I haven’t been gone that long! _

“You can’t just go up to your appointment, you have to wait until someone comes to escort you.” She motioned her hand to the waiting area. 

“How long have you been working here Miss…?” Gwen was trying not to be annoyed but this was not exactly how Gwen wanted to start her day.

“Kaitlyn, ma’am. Uh, this is my third-week ma’am.” Kaitlyn’s eyes shifted nervously between Gwen and Hank, as she started to feel like she’d done something completely wrong.

“Well that explains it, we’ve never met. I’m Mr. Carter’s Executive Assistant.” Gwen asserted feeling a little better but it didn’t last long.

“I may have just started here but I know Mr. Carter’s Executive Assistant is Miss Lisa Parker.” Irritated Gwen lifted her badge and showed Kaitlyn that she was Mr. Carter’s EA. Suddenly Kaitlyn’s eyes went wide.

“I’ve been gone for a month, which explains why you haven’t seen me before.” Gwen noticed what could be seen on anyone who’s made a mistake at Carter Corporation, fear of being fired, making her smile a little reassurance towards Kaitlyn. “Don’t worry about it, everyone makes mistakes.”

“Miss Richmond, I’m so sorry. I’m new to town, and while I’ve heard of you, because who hasn’t, I had never seen you. I just assumed you went through the parking garage.” Tears formed in her eyes as she realized her horrible and potentially unforgivable mistake. 

“Normally, I would but I had to renew my security badge. Don’t sweat it, Kaitlyn, we all have blundered in our first few weeks.” With that, the doors to the elevator doors opened and Gwen entered. 

“Ma’am I’ll be right up,” Hank informed Gwen as the door began to close, Gwen nodded and after the elevator had started to go up she burst out laughing.

Back down on the main floor, Kaitlyn was in a state, mumbling to herself about getting fired because who on earth keeps their job after accusing the big boss’ assistant and fiancée of not working here. She noticed the large security man that was following Miss Richmond had stayed behind and was approaching her. 

“Oh, my word is she going to fire me?”

“No, she’s not going to fire you. Listen Kaitlyn is it? Kaitlyn, Miss Richmond is a wonderful person and she isn’t jaded by her status. Why don’t you go get a glass of water and take a moment to calm down? You were just doing your job and that impressed Miss Richmond more. To be honest I think it was refreshing for her to have someone not know who she is.”

“Ok, thanks for the pep talk. I’m sorry I don’t know your name. You aren’t part of the normal security staff.”

“I’m Hank Rigger. And no I’m Miss Richmond personal security”

~

The doors opened up on the top floor and Stephanie was waiting there with a cup of coffee and a stack of files. 

“Welcome back Miss Richmond!” Stephanie hopped up from her chair and approached Gwen with a warm hug.

“Thanks, Stephanie.” As she embraced her friend and coworker, she eyed a pile of files in her inbox. “Looks like you’ve got a lot of work for me.”

“Yeah, Miss Parker asked if you could tackle these urgent files today while she was in Houston with Mr. Carter.” Stephanie settled back into her chair and put her headpiece back on

“So now I’m taking orders from Lisa,” Gwen mumbled under breath as she flipped through the labels. “That’s great, I’ll take a look at these right away.” Gwen started off to her office when Stephanie turned and called out to her.

“Gwen,” Gwen turned to look at the woman, she saw a face full of emotions. “it hasn’t been the same without you.”

“Thanks, Stephanie that makes me feel better, I think.” Gwen still couldn’t shake the disregarded feelings inside her.

“By the way, Miss Parker fought with Mr. Carter for weeks about becoming his executive assistant. But you know how persuasive Mr. Carter can be.” Stephanie smiled, Gwen does know how persuasive Ryan can be, but why?

“It’s alright Stephanie, my morning just isn’t going as I had hoped so I’m taking it out on people.” Gwen could feel the emotions piling up, she just wanted to escape to her office and shut the door.

“Well if you need anything, you know where to find me.” As the phone rang, Stephanie swung back towards her desk.

Gwen smiled, entered her office, closed the door and sat down in her chair. The only thing that had changed was the pile size of files. It was as if Lisa didn’t even work at Gwen’s desk at all. A knock came to the door and Stephanie poked her head in. 

“Mr. Simons is here to see you.” 

“Ok.” As Stephanie turned to go, Gwen stopped her. “Oh, Stephanie one question, where did Lisa do her work? It doesn’t seem like my office has been touched for a month.”

“Miss Parker worked in an empty office down the hall. She didn’t feel right working in your office.” Stephanie had a  _ see you have nothing to worry about the  _ look on her face. 

“Ok, send Mr. Simon in.” Gwen felt the weight lift off her chest, just a little bit.

Stephanie disappeared as Gabriel came in and closed the door. Gwen got up and gave him a big hug.

“It’s so good to see you. How are you feeling?” Gabriel’s embrace was strong, almost lifting Gwen off the floor. They had had a great relationship when she worked in the Communication department under his management.

“Much better, ready to get back to work, this weekend was a little bit rough as I didn’t have much to do around the house.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re doing alright.” Gabriel took a seat in one of the armchairs in front of the couch. Gwen joined him after grabbing her coffee. “Did you just get here?”

“I did. I’ve got some stuff to do for Ryan but at ten I’m meeting with the team.”

“Yeah I know, Ryan told me to join you this morning to help you get your sea legs.”

“Ugh does he think I’m that incompetent. No offence Gabe but this is my baby I know how it needs to be handled. Shoot he’s even hired Lisa on permanently as his assistant and he took her to Houston instead of me.”

“Not at all Gwen, he thinks the complete opposite. Gwen, you are brilliant and smart and only you get in your way about it. He just wanted me to introduce you to the staff and make sure you didn’t have any questions. Listen, do you know how many people who’ve brought initiatives to Ryan’s desk who get to see the finished product? Only one, and that’s you! And no not because you are sleeping with him, Ryan deserves more credit than that. Even I’ve brought a five million dollar a year client to him and I haven’t handled that file even once. You are exceptional, he sees something in you that you don’t see and that is the immense potential. I don’t know what he has planned for you but you can believe that they are big plans here in the company. Lisa isn’t replacing you because he doesn’t think you can’t do the job, Lisa is replacing you because he recognizes that it won’t be long until he has no choice but to promote you. This project is a full-time job, and Ryan has never made anyone head of a sole project before.”

“You think so?” Gwen bit the inside of her cheek, trying to digest all that Gabriel said.

“I think you had your confidence knocked out of you and you just need to get your groove back. You are a strong, powerful woman Gwen. A force to be reckoned with. I knew when you worked under me that it would only take a good push in the right direction for you to bloom. I just never knew what direction that was. Ryan on the other hand did.”

“Well, thanks. I needed that.” Her shoulders relaxed and she leaned back into the couch.

"I know, and Ryan would’ve given that same speech to you if he hadn’t been called to Houston. You remember the Domtar client?”

“Oh my goodness, the COO Mr. Raft is such a misogynistic pig. Do you know that he gave me kudos for ‘sleeping my way to the top’ but not to get too attached saying ‘if Ryan Carter is anything like the rest of us, he’ll drop you when you’re no longer any fun to play with’.”

“Wow, I’m trying to imagine you keeping your temper on that one.” Gabriel’s grin as he tried to picture Gwen getting red in the face. 

“It was so hard. But what’s going on with Domtar?” The concern came to her brow. Domtar was one of their biggest clients in Texas, without their business Carter Corporation wouldn’t have succeeded there.

“It looks like we missed an important deadline.” Gabriel looked like  _ ‘This wouldn’t have happened if I were running things down there,’  _ while taking a sip of his water.

“Oh, that’s not good. Speaking of deadlines, Lisa asked if I could cover her on some files for Ryan so I need to get on top of those if I am going to be ready for this meeting at ten. You coming?”

“Your wish is my command, Miss Richmond. See you there.”

Gwen laughed while returning to her desk as Gabriel left and closed the door. She worked the whole hour and managed to get all but one file done before she had to go to the conference room. She grabbed her box of files and binders on the Hope for Children project before making her way to the conference room. Gabriel was a few steps behind Gwen, he caught up to her to grab the box from her then opened the glass door to let her in. She gave him a side look and a smile before taking her place at the end of the conference room table.

“Hello everyone. I called you to this meeting because I was a little disappointed with the report you gave me at the end of last week. So let’s tackle this one issue at a time. Jordan is it? What’s going on with the contractors?” Poised with a pen and notepad Gwen was ready to take down notes and get action plans in place to get this project moving.

“Ma’am, the bidding went to a standstill when no one would come close to our lowest price.” Jordan seemed frustrated and dejected.

“Ok, get me the top five on our list and make appointments for me with each one of them. This project is more about money and they need to be reminded of that. Now, Elise and Lucas, the gala is set for mid-October yet we have no theme, let alone a venue space so what is going on.” Gwen didn’t look up from her paper as she moved on to the next point of her agenda.

“We weren’t sure what direction you were wanting to go?” Elise interjected.

“Alright, I want everyone to hear me loud and clear.” Gwen put down her pen, putting her hands together and under her chin. “I know what the bones of the project should look like but you are here because Mr. Carter thought you’d be the best fit. Elise and Lucas, I want you to come up with five themes and venues that work with them by the end of the day. Tomorrow, I’ll give you my notes and we can go from there. I want you guys to learn to think outside the box, be independent. If I wanted to micromanage everything I would do it by myself but I can’t nor do I want to because my focus is making sure it happens, your job is to tell me what you think this project should look like. Now how are we doing with getting donors, Michael?”

“We’ve got two diamond sponsors at four hundred thousand a year, eight gold at two hundred and fifty thousand, twenty silver at one hundred thousand and one hundred bronze sponsors at fifty thousand.”

“Ok, and they are all five-year contracts? So how much is that per year including the platinum donors?”

“That’s twelve million three hundred thousand per year with a total of sixty-one million five hundred thousand for five years.”

“So we need five more platinum sponsors, eleven diamond, twelve gold, and thirty silver. Let me know where you are at the end of the week. We need at bare minimum twenty-five million a year in revenue, beware not to go after clients as we tend to use our client list to invite them to our fundraising galas. Mr. Simon can get you a list of our clients to cross-reference. Tanner, where are we in legal?”

“The contracts for the contractors are ready to be amended if needed. We are still working on the logistics of submitting an amendment to the adoption act.”

“Good, are there any questions? No? You’ve all got work to do so get it done.”

Everyone got up and left except for Gabriel who sat at the other end of the big table and just clapped as if he had watched the performance of a lifetime. Gwen shook her head and walked out of the conference room without even addressing him, though she could hear his deep laugh even after the door closed. Back in her office, she sat down at her desk with a sigh and closed her eyes for a moment. She didn’t realize how exhausted she was going to be. Despite being on the mend, her ribs still hurt on occasion especially after carrying the box of files. She decided the best thing to do was get back to work, hopefully, the time would pass by quickly.

Gwen had worked for two hours on various things, catching up on emails, contacting clients and ironing out details of the Hope for Children Foundation. It had been so quiet that when her phone rang she jumped in her chair a little.

“This is Miss Richmond, how can I help you?” Her heart was beating so fast, her voice sounded out of breath.

“Gwen, it’s Ryan. I need you to do something for me if you have a moment.” Ryan sounded stressed and focused.

“Of course what it is?” Gwen who would normally be annoyed that he didn’t even say ‘hello’ was more tuned into the fact that he sounded stressed out.

“I forgot to request Miss Parker to send the digital files for Premedicia to my email account when she sent me Domtar’s and I’m seeing them in half an hour, can you send them to me.”

“I can send them to you but only if you promise to stop acting like a jerk towards your assistant.”

“How am I acting like a jerk towards you?”

“Not me. I heard the tone you had when you said ‘Miss Parker’ so let me guess, Lisa is sitting across from you and you plan to give her a complete dress down on how I would’ve never let a fumble like this happen, even though I have.”

“I…ugh…fine! Just send the files please.” She could tell Ryan was infuriated with her and she would get her dress down when he got home.

“Already done. Have a good day Mr. Carter.” Gwen hung up the phone before he could respond.

~

Early in the evening, Elise and Richard dropped off their proposals. Gwen would take the evening to review the options and see them in the morning to discuss her notes. After Ryan messaged her around five letting her know they were on their way back but would need to stop by the office before coming home, Gwen decided that she was going to stay at the office to review the gala plans but she needed to stop to have supper. 

Hank checked in with her to see if she was ok to go through the parking garage or if she wanted to go out the front. Trying to be brave and face her fears, Gwen agreed to go to the parking garage. The elevator doors opened and she started to walk out but stalled. A vision of the events that transpired a month ago played in her head. The dark figure leaning against the Aston Martin with the loaded gun in his hand. She felt herself back up into the elevator, when she hit the wall she sunk to the floor and began to cry. Hank was quick to realize what had happened, put his key in the elevator to lock it and swooped down towards Gwen.

“Talk to me, Gwen.” Hank put his hands on her shoulders to try and get her to focus on him but she kept her head down, her body shaking violently with sobs.

“I can’t do it. I can’t go in there.” Gwen could barely get any words out between the sobs.

“It’s alright Gwen. Shhh, it’s ok.” Hank put his arm around her until she stopped crying.

“He had a gun, Hank! He threatened to kill Ryan if I didn’t go with him!” She finally looked up at him and he could see the sheer terror in her red swollen eyes. 

“I do understand what you are going through I promise that. And if you think it will help I can share with you my PTSD triggers.” He hadn’t let go of her, the pressure of his embrace seemed to calm her.

“Thank you for the offer. Maybe another time. Why don’t I meet you outside?” Gwen sniffed and wiped her eyes. Together they stood up and Gwen instinctively reached for her purse and pulled out her compact.  _ What a mess! _ When she’d wiped away most of the evidence of her mascara Gwen gave Hank the nod.

“Alright.” Hank unlocked the elevator and pressed the first-floor button before he walked out towards her town car.

When the doors opened up on the main floor Gwen was poised and looked in control. She went out to meet Hank at the front doors. He drove her to Grunwald’s for supper. Eating had calmed her nerves and she had Hank take her back to work. She poured over the recommendations with a fine-tooth comb, making notes throughout the proposals. Gwen had switched from her desk to the couch, taking off her shoes and enjoying a glass of Ryan’s whiskey. She didn’t even notice Ryan was watching her so when he finally spoke up, she jumped out of her skin.

“You see, if any of my other assistants indulged in my whiskey, they would get reprimanded.” His voice, no longer that of a businessman but that of a lover.

“Then reprimand me, Mr. Carter.” Gwen looked up over the rim of the glass taking another sip almost defiantly.

“Maybe at home, the office is a little busy right now. What are you still doing here anyway?”  _ And we are back to Ryan Carter, CEO. _ Gwen thought to herself as Ryan lifted her feet enough to sit down on the couch beside her.

“I’m reviewing gala proposals and contractor negotiations. I’m not going to lie, the gala proposals are more interesting.” Ryan had begun to rub her feet. Gwen couldn’t help but close her eyes and lean her head back.

“Shouldn’t you have already signed the contractor contracts?” 

“The contractors aren’t going as low as we expected them to go. I’ve been reviewing my budget on where we can trim some fat to meet them even halfway but without an idea on the gala costs, I have no idea where the fat is. This budget was lean as it is. We also don’t have as many donors as I expected. I had a meeting with my team today and set some goals for them to meet. How was your day?”

“Oh you know, I fired a couple of people today and saved us from losing one of our biggest clients in Texas. So I’m feeling a bit like a powerful tycoon.”

“So just your typical day at the office?” Gwen winked. It was rare that Ryan fired employees personally unless they were higher up the chain like a manager or department head.

“Yeah pretty much. Lisa is grateful for your interference today. You were right I was planning on ripping her a new one. But I thought about it, I did call her at three in the morning plus she’s not as familiar with my thought patterns, mistakes can happen.”

“Except for the two employees who lost their jobs today?” Gwen was in what Ryan called her minx mood. She wanted to play around with his words, aggravating him a little bit.

“Well, they made some big mistakes that almost cost us our whole clientele in Texas so yeah, except them. I’m ready to go home are you?” He wasn’t going to let her rile him up, there wasn’t much of a chance they would lose Domtar as a client over this blunder because of his relationship with the owner and CEO but people talk and not everyone was loyal to the owner. Ryan moved her feet but didn’t get up until he got an answer.

“Yeah, just meet me at the front, I’ve got to make a couple stops on the way down. It would be nice if I didn’t have to go to three different floors to drop stuff off on my coworkers’ desks.”

“Ok, I’ll see you out front, but remember, they are your staff, not your coworkers. They need a boss, if you act like they are your equal, you won’t hold the same authority.”

Ryan got up, kissed Gwen and left. She grabbed her glass and shot back the last bit of whiskey before pulling together her notes from the gala proposals and contracts. After she dropped off the contracts at Legal and the proposal notes at Planning she made her way down to the front exit. Waving goodbye to Lex the night guard, she walked out the employee doorway and into the limo. Ryan was busy on his phone as Jake pulled away. Gwen could barely keep her eyes open now that she wasn’t focused on something.

Arriving home, she went straight upstairs while Ryan diverted to the office. Gwen went through her evening routine and slipped into a silk nightgown, crawling into bed, she had left the light on for Ryan but found that she couldn’t keep her eyes open a moment longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between panic attacks, not being recognized as Ryan's E.A and her project not being on track Gwen ends her first day completely exhausted. Will Gwen find peace with her PTSD? Will she confide in Ryan what's going on or will she try to manage everything herself? Stay tuned for Chapter 3 to find out.
> 
> As always I'd love to hear from you in the comments what you think. If you haven't yet, leave a Kudos if you like the story and bookmark it to get notifications when a new chapter is up. Let's start up a conversation.


	3. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to go in the right direction as Gwen . While she settles some things with Hope for Children Foundation, Ryan continues to plan her surprise birthday party and proposes something she hadn't thought of since the day they got engaged.

By Thursday, both Ryan and Gwen were back in the full swing of things. They had gone to work together for the past two days and she felt like everything was back to normal. She had a busy day ahead of her; with meetings back to back between the contractors, her lunch with Carol and then she had final gala proposals to review. Elise and Lucas had taken her notes and gone to work to either make the proposal better or to simply put it back in the idea box for another year. Ryan had to fly out to Houston Friday morning, so he was hoping to get caught up on his work. Between Gwen and Lisa, he was falling behind on his part of the job, they were just too good.

“I should be back around nine in the evening on Friday. Would you care to go out for a little night on the town, then head to the beach house first thing Saturday morning?”

“That sounds great. Any special reason we are going to the beach house?” Gwen was curious if Ryan remembered it was her birthday on Saturday.

“Nope, not that I’m aware of.” Gwen couldn’t help but let disappointment fall on her face. Ryan didn’t usually forget little details like that.  _ It’s been a stressful couple of months give the man a break, Gwen _ . She quickly changed her demeanour. “Sounds great. I will meet you at Starlite then?”

“No, I’ll pick you up from the house.”

“Ok.”

Gwen continued to find excuses as to why she needed to go through the front of the building instead of going through the parking garage. The elevator they took only went to the last five floors of the building, anyone below the forty-fifth floor had to go around to the front. 

In her office, she settled in with her coffee, she had an hour before her first meeting showed up and she needed this hour to go over the contracts again. Tanner and Jordan pulled a late-night coming up with a final revision of the offers to each contractor and she was hoping they’d all bite at the chance to get in on this great project. 

Every meeting went by flawlessly. The contractors were happy with their contracts and signed on the dotted line. She finished up with the last meeting with fifteen minutes to get to Grunwald's. Hank dutifully was already at the front of the building waiting for her. When they got to Grunwald's she asked him to go out for lunch somewhere else. She wanted to keep her sponsor’s anonymity. When she walked in, she noticed Carol was already seated.

“Thank you for your patience. I was in a meeting and it went longer than I anticipated.” Gwen said as she took off her blazer and hung it on the back of the chair. 

“No worries, I’ve never been here so it gave me extra time to look at the menu and ask the cute waiter questions.” Carol winked with a cheeky grin.

“I’m glad.” Gwen barely listening, waved down the waiter. She already knew what she was going to order and she also wanted to put in Ryan, Stephanie and Lisa’s order to be ready before she left. “I only have an hour and then I have to get back for more meetings. Can I have the chicken mandarin salad with oil and balsamic vinegarette dressing for here? To go I need a half-pound cheeseburger with everything on it, side of fries and an apple and raisin salad with raspberry vinegarette on the side. Carol?”

Closing her menu and handing it to the waiter Carol smiled, “I’ll take the lunch special, please. Gwen, you sound like a busy woman. How do you do it?” 

“I love the work that I do,” Gwen said very vaguely, remembering Ryan’s terms to having a sponsor. “I did, however, want to talk to you about your offer the other night.”

“Yes of course, and what do you think?” Carol cocked her head to one side, noticing a slight discomfort in Gwen’s facial features.

“I think I’d like to have you in my support team.” Gwen held the woman’s gaze trying to keep up appearances, she was nervous about bringing more people into her life. “Ryan is sometimes away on business and I’d hate to find myself in a situation where he couldn’t get back to me to help me.”

“That’s great.” Carol smiled and clapped her hands together. “So, how did your first couple of days go?”

“Working keeps my mind busy and focused so they were fine until I attempted to go down to the parking garage. I froze in the elevator. Luckily my security guard was with me and was able to talk me down.”

“Any cravings come with the PTSD trigger?” Carol leaned in, just as the waiter came back with their food.

“Ma’am the kitchen will have the rest of your order ready for when you leave.” With a slight bow, the waiter left.

The two women ate in silence. Gwen hadn’t even admitted to Ryan about the incident in the elevator, let alone the instinctual side effects any addict feels. The comfort the drug gives you, however temporary, is very real and it’s ghost feels just as real. She was happy that Carol wasn’t pushing her to answer right away, giving her time to think and be comfortable. This may turn out to be a great relationship. They finished their meals and Gwen felt it was time to give her sponsor an answer.

“There was an urge to make it all go away for a couple of seconds before Hank came to the rescue. The thought of having the heroin course through my veins to calm my nerves seemed inviting.”

“Did you tell Hank about the drug urge?” Carol leaned towards Gwen placing her elbows on the table.

“No, while he used to be in the military he doesn’t understand the drug urges that follow my PTSD. Heck, I don’t even understand it.” Gwen let out a nervous laugh. She didn’t understand it back in university either, but then again Gwen’s sole mission was to stay clean, graduate school and get a job. Stay busy and put absolutely no focus on her addiction.

“You’ve implied a lot of stuff in your talks but never into any detail. Would you be comfortable sharing that with me?”

Gwen’s back straightened at the idea and Carol could see her face close off. “Maybe another time. In a more private setting when we have a bit more time.”

Carol took that as her cue to change the subject. The waiter came with their cheques and then Gwen picked up the takeout order on her way and felt a sort of peace settle over her.

~

Ryan was pacing the floor of his office when Andersen came in. Andersen had flown back with Penelope after she had completed her work for Domtar. He dropped some files on Ryan’s desk and then crossed the room to lay on the couch.

“The last few days have been insane Carter. Insane!” Andersen pinched his nose as if to relieve a headache.

“Were you able to get the positions filled?” Ryan stood behind his desk, skimming over the files that Andersen left on his desk,

“Yes, the personnel files are on your desk for approval. Between interviewing and managing the Premedicia’s product issues, I’m just wiped out. How do you even manage when you have offices across the world?” Andersen sat up with a look of astonishment but also pride, his friend had turned his brilliant idea into reality.

“The Houston office is the only one I can’t find a decent proxy manager for. Except for you but you won’t just take the damn job.” Ryan was reading the personnel files of the new hires. He’d always been good at multitasking. Except when Gwen was around, then he struggled to concentrate on anyone but her.

“Because I don’t like to be contained in an office as you do. I like being your chief security officer, you’ve fulfilled my need for income and my want to travel in one beautiful package.” Andersen laid back down and closed his eyes.

“Speaking of security, you might want to go see Colin today. He says he’s been having issues with the new program.” A knock interrupted their conversation and a redhead popped her head in.

“Am I interrupting Ryan?” Jenny asked more out of courtesy then looking for an answer.

“Not at all, Jenny you remember Andersen.”

“Ah yes, the man of one name,” Jenny said sarcastically.

“Man of mystery is more like it.” Andersen winked at her and sat upright on the couch and tapped the seat beside him. Jenny shook her head.

“I just came to say everything is a go for tomorrow night, as long as you get on your plane by four in the evening Houston time.”

“What’s going on tomorrow night? Why have I not been invited? Ryan?” Andersen put on a fake look of hurt and rejection.

Nervously, Ryan looked at his watch, it was one in the afternoon, Gwen would be arriving back soon with his lunch. “It’s Gwen’s birthday on Saturday so we are going out Friday night to celebrate. You are more than welcome to come, Jenny will text you the address.”

“Sounds good. Well, I’d best be on my way to see Colin. Carter, it’s always a pleasure to catch up. Jenny, beautiful as ever.”

“Why, thank you, Andersen!”

Just as Andersen was leaving, Gwen walked in with a white bag in her hand. She quickly said hi as he made his way to the elevator. Gwen was surprised to see Jenny in Ryan’s office today. After she got back from Indiana, Jenny made it her mission to make sure Gwen didn’t go without social interaction at least once a day, so without even thinking she embraced Jenny and then handed Ryan his food. Jenny excused herself saying she needed to run. Ryan took his lunch over to the couch and placed it on the coffee table then tapped the couch for Gwen to take a seat. She took a quick look at her watch and then sat down.

“How’d your lunch go?” Ryan looked at her while he took a bite out of his burger. Gwen saw genuine curiosity from her fiance. It made her feel bad not letting him in all the way.

“Good, I think having a sponsor this will be a great thing to have in my back pocket.” Gwen crossed her legs and swiped at some imaginary debris on her skirt.

“Good,” Ryan said with a partial mouth full.

“Thank you for understanding the need, and for not prying for information.” Gwen cleared her throat.  _ If he only knew there was the information to pry for. _

“My only concern is for you to get sober and stay there, so if that means you need to confide in someone who’s experienced something similar, I’m all for it.” He placed his hand on her knee. 

“You are the best fiancee a girl could ask for.” Gwen leaned over and kissed him on the cheek where there was a bit of mayo from his burger. She quickly licked it off and sat back sporting her minx like a grin.

Ryan stopped and looked at her, impressed by her bravado and pulled Gwen in close. It had been a while since they were intimate. It was less about Gwen’s physical health and more about her mental health that they abstained but he took that kiss as a cue with it being the first time she’d initiated any contact since the abduction. He missed her body, the silky touch of her skin, the smell of her hair and the true taste of her mouth. He put his hand on her cheek caressing it, looking into her eyes he saw that spark of fire ignite and he leaned in to capture her on the mouth. She responded immediately. Her hands went around his neck and up into his hair. Their tongues collided as the passion between them reignited. Ryan lowered his hand from her face and undid a couple of buttons of her blouse reaching under the bra to cup her breast. Oh her breast, it was like he had felt them for the first time. She vibrated at his touch and as he laid her on the couch, she kicked off her shoes. He kissed her body as he finished undoing her blouse. Ryan reached under the hem of her skirt and pushed it up. Suddenly the buzzer for the intercom went off and Ryan cursed and laid his head on her chest. Stephanie was informing him his two o’clock meeting was here.

Gwen started to laugh out loud. “To be continued I guess.”

“I’m sorry, I knew I had this meeting. I just couldn’t help myself. It’s been too long.” Ryan helped her up from the couch. He was disappointed, his mind had already played out how he was going to pleasure her. Reconnect with her sexually, making her feel a little bit more whole again. 

Gwen redid her buttons and readjusted her skirt. She slipped on her shoes and walked into the bathroom to fix her hair before she went over pulling Ryan by his tie towards her and whispering in his ear. “I promise tonight, I will be all yours.”

“Or I could just cancel my meeting?” Gwen pursed her lips and shook her head slowly. Ryan sighed “Fine, can you send my client in on your way out.” Gwen’s seductive look disappeared and her hand dropped from his tie. 

“Of course Mr. Carter. Next time, I’ll be sure to schedule in our tete a tete.” Gwen winked and Ryan watched the sway of her hips as she left the room. 

_ Oh, that little minx _ ! Ryan thought as he readjusted his tie and sat down at his desk just as his client walked in.

~

The afternoon went by quickly. Lisa had stopped in shortly after three for a quick coffee and gab. Gwen was feeling a little better about the whole situation, she truly was too busy to do all of Ryan’s work and was glad Lisa was taking primary care of the responsibilities. At five, Gwen lightly knocked on Ryan’s door and reached for the handle to open it but found it locked. She looked at Stephanie, who shrugged. Then she heard a woman giggle. Gwen took a deep breath urging herself not to fly off the handle.

“Stephanie, when you see Mr. Carter, please tell him I’ve already headed home. And have him text me so I can have dinner ready.”

“Yes, Miss Richmond.”

Gwen stormed toward the elevator, as she got in she furiously texted Hank to meet her out front. Her anger flared up another feeling. A flashback to her relationship with Chuck whenever she would find him with other women all over him. After a bit of yelling and getting in each other's faces, Chuck would convince her to take a hit with him. Gwen looked around the elevator, starting to feel claustrophobic about the metal box. She quickly sent a message to Carol.

FEELING SOME URGES RIGHT NOW.

Carol replied instantly. PTSD TRIGGER?

HEARD A WOMAN GIGGLING IN RYAN’S OFFICE - HIS DOOR WAS LOCKED! I’M NOT GOOD WITH OTHER WOMEN. CHUCK - MY EX WHO GOT ME ADDICTED - HE WOULD HAVE WOMEN ALL OVER HIM, ALL THE TIME. 

I’M SURE IT’S JUST A CLIENT MEETING, GWEN. WHERE ARE YOU?

By this time, Gwen was in the back seat of the town car. She didn’t even remember acknowledging Hank when she came out. ON MY WAY HOME.

GOOD. GO HOME AND DO SOMETHING THAT HELPS RELIEVE STRESS. YOU MENTIONED BEFORE THAT YOU’VE BEEN RUNNING. IF YOU HAVEN’T CALMED DOWN BY THE TIME YOU GET HOME, GO FOR A RUN. 

BUT THE LOCKED DOOR! HE NEVER LOCKS HIS DOOR - EXCEPT… HE NEVER LOCKS HIS DOOR WITH CLIENTS.

GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF. DO YOU TRUST HIM?

Gwen stopped to think, of course, she did. OF COURSE!

THEN THIS IS PROBABLY CAUSED BY EXHAUSTION, GO HOME AND REST.

YOU’RE RIGHT. SORRY - YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE MY RELATIONSHIP GURU.

BUT I AM YOUR SPONSOR. ANYTHING THAT HAS AN EFFECT ON YOUR SOBRIETY IS RELEVANT.

Hank pulled into the driveway, he could tell Gwen was flustered about something. She had been texting someone the whole time. He turned off the car and waited for Gwen to initiate leaving the vehicle. Just then another sound came from her phone. For a second she looked like she had relaxed then it went dark again.

HEY BEAUTIFUL - SORRY I MISSED YOU, CAUGHT UP IN A MEETING. MIGHT BE ANOTHER HOUR.

“Yeah caught up in a meeting my ass!” Gwen stormed out of the car and into the house. She felt the ugly green monster rising inside her again after briefly subsiding when his text first came in. So she ran upstairs, changed into some gym clothes, grabbed earphones from off the desk and put on her running shoes. Putting in the earbuds, she blared her music and leaped over the last two steps and began to run. 

Hank had been sitting on the hood of the car catching up on some sporting news when he heard the front door slam and in a blink of an eye his charge was bolting off down the street. “Shit!” He pulled off his suit jacket and tie, dropping them in the middle of the driveway as he made his way around the car and reached inside the passenger door for his track pants and runners. This was the fourth time he had to strip off his pants in the driveway. The first time she had gone out for a run without telling him, he ruined his dress shoes and ripped the hems of his dress pants. Fortunately for him, he had military training so as soon as his running shoes were on he bolted after her. It wasn’t like Gwen was purposely trying to ditch him but she just tended to forget that now that she was a public figure, she needed to be more cautious and have Hank with her when going for a run. She got a few blocks before stopping to let Hank catch up. When he did she pulled out her earphones.

“You’re getting slow,” Gwen smirked and puffed out her chest as if she’d won some sort of competition.

“You don’t make it fair.” Hank had this look that Gwen had termed his ‘big brother look’ where he looked at her disapprovingly but behind his eyes, you could tell he only cared.

“You’re ex-military, you should be ready for anything. Heck, you would've caught up to me quicker in your suit.”

“The last time I wore my suit, I ruined my shoes and pants. I may be ex-military but running in dress shoes also is a killer on your feet. Now, are we going farther or are we going back?”

“Would you consider us friends Hank?” Gwen looked lost for a moment as if she were testing the water to ask what she wanted to ask him.

“When Ryan isn’t around, yes.” 

“As a friend Hank, do you think Ryan would cheat on me?”

“I don’t think Ryan is capable of thinking of another woman the way he thinks about you.”

“Why not, he’s an attractive man. Women of all sorts throw themselves at him and wet their panties if he even looks or acknowledges them. He could have whomever he wants, in fact, he’s had whomever he’s wanted in the past and I’m no supermodel.” Gwen had started pacing between three squares on the sidewalk, spiralling, giving any valid reason she could think of for Ryan to find comfort with other women because deep down Gwen still didn’t know why Ryan was with her.

“Gwen, you are a very attractive woman but, to be honest, it’s not your looks that keep him around, it’s your soul, it’s who you are that brings him home every night and no woman has what you have.”

“How much did he offer you to say that?” Gwen gave a little pout.

“It’s what I see, I’m speaking the truth. He couldn’t pay me to lie to you unless it was for your benefit. Gwen, he didn’t leave your bedside for two whole weeks, we had to force him to take twenty minutes to shower, threatening to drag him in ourselves. Ryan didn’t touch a bit of work until just before you woke up and even then he insisted he stay in your room twenty-four hours. Whatever has gotten you on this line of thinking...”

“He had a woman in his office, with the door locked.”

“Then whatever that meeting is about, it has no romantic nature whatsoever.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I saw how devastated he was when he found out you went missing. I had to hold him back when they wheeled you out of that warehouse on a stretcher. My job is to observe, and I’ve never observed a man so dedicated to one woman in my entire life. Ryan went through a personal hell I would wish on no man as he watched over you, desperate for you to wake up.”

Gwen was almost in tears as Hank described some of the things he witnessed from Ryan after Julio had abducted her. Not wanting to fall apart out on the sidewalk she cleared her throat, “Ok, let’s run back.”

~

When Ryan got home, the town car wasn’t parked in the drive but the lights were on. He told Jake to take the evening off and went inside. Ryan went through the ritual of taking off his shoes in the front hallway and placed his keys on one of the hooks. He peered into the office but no one was there, even the computers were off. Then he heard humming coming from the kitchen and smell suddenly wafted to his nose that told him that Gwen was cooking up something delicious. He went upstairs, hung up his suit jacket, took off his tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, then headed down towards the kitchen. Her hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head, she wore her gingham apron over a white tank top, jean shorts and her bare feet were moving slightly to the music. He loved seeing her outside the office; relaxed and in her element. She had purchased a special hook to hold her engagement ring for while she was cooking or baking and it happened to catch the sun coming through the west window, creating a starburst over the room.

He approached her from behind. When he placed his hands on her waist she jumped a little but she looked back and smiled.

“Hey, you!” 

“Sorry, I’m late. My meeting took longer than I anticipated it to take.” Gwen’s smile dimmed.

“Was the client satisfied?” Her tone was dripping with something he couldn’t put his finger on.

“Oh it wasn’t my client, well I was the client. I can’t say much about it right now but this weekend at the beach house I will be able to tell you more.” Gwen looked curiously at him.  _ He was the client? Like a hooker? But he wants to talk about it this weekend. Good god, Gwen! You heard what Hank said, the man wouldn’t cheat on you! _

“Here try this.” Gwen dipped a spoon into the sauce and served it to Ryan. Her tone was easing back to normal but Ryan was curious about her mood as he tasted the sauce. 

“That’s good. Doing a blog post?” He pointed to her laptop sitting on the bar. His hand fluttered to the small of her back but he quickly caught himself and placed it on her upper back. Gwen had become extremely sensitive to being touched there and not in a good way. He still didn’t know exactly why but Ryan respected her need for boundaries.

“Yeah, thought I’d revive an old recipe.” Gwen went back to stirring the sauce. 

Ryan kissed her neck, “I’d like to revive something more fun.” It was nice to feel his hands on her. She started thinking back to their tryst in the office and her sex began to wet with anticipation. But despite her desire for Ryan to bend her over the counter, Gwen thought dragging the desire out would be more fun. For both of them.

“I’m good with that but after supper.” She bit her lip seductively, followed by licking them, slowly. Gwen got the response she desired when she felt his member harden against her leg. 

“Can I help speed things along?” His voice had gone husky and insistent, it didn’t take much for Gwen to make him turn into a horny teenager.

“You could set the table. Get a bottle of wine? I was thinking we’d eat outside, it’s so nice tonight.”

“Set the table, bottle of wine. Got it” Ryan winked and left the kitchen in a flash. Gwen couldn’t help but giggle. 

~

After dinner, they cleaned up together and then snuggled on the couch to begin a movie. Once the movie was over Gwen turned off the TV and climbed on top of Ryan. straddling him. They had been playing footsies all through dinner and then were petting and stroking each other all through the movie. He looked into her eyes and saw a hunger there and he was ready to satisfy that hunger, all night long. Their lips met and it was like a fire ignited in them both. His hands grabbed her waist and around her buttocks. He stood up, her legs wrapping around him. 

Ryan carried her up the stairs, their tongues entangled in each other, he knew where he was going. He kicked the door closed and dropped her on the bed. Crawling on top of her he grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. He put his mouth on hers and kissed her passionately. Moving his hands methodically down her arms, to her breast and then to the hem of her tank top he pushed it up revealing her belly but also the scar from her surgery. He used it as a path to kiss his way up her body revealing her bra. Keeping his head at her breasts, he reached around her unclasp her bra and slowly removing the tank top and bra off, throwing them on the floor. He cupped her breast, kissing them and flicking her nipples with his tongue, her body responded to every touch with a shudder or arching of the back. She tried to get up but he pushed her firmly back down.

“Tonight is all about you. I’ve been wanting to show you how much I love your heart and soul, mind and body since the day he took you from me. I won’t take advantage of another day assuming you know that I love you. That I would die for you.”

“Then show me you love me and stop talking about it.” She winked and gave him her Cheshire grin.

Ryan shook his head, he didn’t know how he had struck gold in so many ways with this woman. Straddling her, he removed his shirt, one button at a time, slowly, seductively. She couldn’t help herself from reaching for his belt and to start undoing his pants. He allowed her the pleasure then skillfully slipped out of the pants and boxers, revealing a very ready appendage. Slipping down in between her legs to undo her shorts he pulled them off along with her underwear in one fell swoop. Scooping her legs over his shoulders he began to kiss her thighs making his way slowly towards his goal. He took his tongue and licked her wet centre, finding her most sensitive spot, he began to stimulate it with his teeth and tongue. With every flick over her clitoris, she reacted with a moan, a shudder and the arching of her back. She called out his name as he sucked on her until she came. Slowly, he began kissing his way up her body until he reached her mouth and claimed it with his own as he inserted his swollen appendage into her dripping wet centre.

It felt so good to feel himself inside her again. He thrust slowly at first before getting a bit faster. She wrapped her legs around him encouraging him to go deeper. He watched as Gwen’s head tilted back against the mattress causing her body to arch under him. Leaning into her he kissed all over; from her neck to her mouth, he simply couldn’t get enough. She grabbed him by the hair and pulled his ear towards her mouth and whispered to give it to her. He grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head and began to thrust harder and faster. Sweat began to bead down his face, it had been a while since he worked this hard. Knowing she was close to orgasming and wanting to see her whole body vibrate with pleasure he let go of her hands just in time as she cried out, back arched, instinctively she grabbed her breasts and Ryan released within her, his own climax massaged from him through the pulsing of her orgasm.

Ryan rolled over beside her, grabbing her hand and kissing it over and over again until she turned to him.

“You are the love of my life. I cannot live without you. I never want to be separated from you again.”

“I couldn’t agree more, my darling.” He took a deep breath, “I wanted to wait until we were at the beach house to broach this but you seem to be in a pliable mood.”

“Well after that performance, I’ll agree to anything.” Gwen mindlessly played her fingers across his chest.

“Good. I want to set a date for the wedding.”

“Oh my goodness.” Gwen hid her face into his chest. “I’m sorry we haven’t done that yet. I do want to marry you.” She looked at him with a plea for forgiveness.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I didn’t expect anything from you after what happened. I just thought now that the dust has sort of settled and you are back to work, I want to be married to you. I was thinking at the end of September.”

“The end of September!” Gwen sat up looking at him as if he was insane. “Ryan that is two months away and I have the gala to put on at the beginning of October. I don’t have time to do all that planning.”

Ryan grinned and pulled her back down into his arms. “The person I met with today was a wedding planner and she’s up to the challenge, she’s willing to work around your schedule. All you need to do is approve details, she’ll do all the work. I just want to be with you in every way imaginable. And dragging this out is unnecessary.”

“Let me think about it.” Ryan could feel Gwen relax a little bit but could feel the pout on her lips. Gwen gave a loud sigh, “Fine! I will meet with the planner tomorrow and I will give you my decision Saturday.”

“I can live with that. Now I need to get some sleep before my flight tomorrow.”

“Alright, goodnight sweetheart.”

“Good night, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you for your patience. I am always looking at how to improve my writing and while I reread this season I found something missing in the story so I had to try and fix it.
> 
> Leave a comment, drop a kudos and don't forget to bookmark it!


	4. Secrets Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan goes out of his way to plan the best birthday surprise for Gwen but at the end of the night, Gwen's worst fear comes to light!

Ryan sat in his Houston office going over the contracts one more time. It was eight in the morning, he figured Gwen would be at the office by now and decided to take a break and give her a call. The phone rang and rang until Stephanie picked it up.

“Thank you for calling Carter Corporation, Stephanie speaking, how may I direct your call?”

“Hi Stephanie, it's Ryan Carter. Is Miss Richmond in yet?”

“Yes sir, she’s in a meeting right now and asked not to be disturbed. Is it urgent?”

“No, that’s alright Stephanie. Could you have her call me when she has a moment?”

“Yes sir, of course.”

“Thank you.” Ryan hung up the phone and pouted. It was weird having Gwen too busy to take his phone call. In the end, he smiled, Gwen didn’t take long to get back into her groove and she’d dove headfirst into this leadership role. It was the exact proof he needed for the board to approve her nomination as CEO of Carter Foundations. His original thought was to have a philanthropy department but when Gwen pitched the Hope for Children Foundation, Ryan realized the growth potential and decided that they would create a whole charity and he wanted Gwen at the head of that Foundation. This new idea is why he wanted to get married sooner rather than later. While there was nothing wrong with Gwen’s name, he knew that in her heart it was a mere placeholder. There was no identity in it for her, she had made it clear. Richmond was just a name she was given so that she could hide from her past. Now that that was over he wanted Gwen to have a name she could choose and be proud of. He wanted Gwen to be her genuine self, the best person he knew she could be.

He stared at the liquor cart and convinced himself it was too early to be drinking, especially with a client coming in but this client made him want to drink. He leaned back in his chair deciding to play last night over in his head. Ryan found it interesting that during the whole month while Gwen was healing and resting that he simply didn’t feel any need to be satisfied. But last night was worth the wait! He tried to think back to his first time, it was so long ago he couldn’t remember who it was with but he remembered the feelings and swore that those same feelings erupted last night. Now, of course, he was probably less awkward and certainly more seasoned. He frowned at the thought of all those women he had slept with, some of whom were broken-hearted when they found out they weren’t going to be Mrs. Ryan Carter. Gwen was different, Gwen had always been different. She only desired to be loved, to be wanted and since the day he met her all he desired was to love and cherish her. 

A short light knock came at the door, had Ryan not been actively waiting for it, he would’ve missed it. The door opened to a blonde woman walking in. He could tell he intimidated her. Ryan intimidated a lot of people, especially young women. Despite the fact he was engaged to be married, it didn’t seem to deter women from blushing at the sight of him and feigning attraction. Before it encouraged him, now it didn’t phase him.

“Mr. Raft and Connolly are here to see you, sir.” She batted her eyes and twirled her hair.

“Thank you miss, please send them in.” Ryan stood up from his chair and waved her off before he greeted the men as they walked through the door and showed them to the chairs.

“What’s this on your desk, Carter? You never have pictures on your desk. Ah, it’s of the little woman. Damn, she’s gorgeous, don’t you think Mr. Connolly?”

“She’s very attractive, sir but we are here to sign contracts not to rile up Mr. Carter with comments on his wife, sir.”

“Oh, I don’t mind you looking, touch her and that’s a different story.” Ryan grabbed the frame out of Mr. Raft’s hand, and placed it back on the desk and smiled through the joke although for him it was a threat. Mr. Raft took the joke as it was delivered and took his seat. “Now the contracts before you are the exact ones that were last sent to you, but please take a moment to look through it one more time before we get on with signing.”

“Might I say, Mr. Carter, we were very impressed with Miss Carrington’s work. It was exactly what we wanted.” Mr. Connolly said before he started flipping through the pages.

“I’m glad Miss Carrington was able to deliver the product promptly. Rest assured there has been a changing of the guard here. I plan to have my Projects Department Head from New York come down and train the new department head here and the manager so that this kind of thing doesn’t happen again.” 

Mr. Raft flipped to the last page and signed while Mr. Connolly took longer to be sure of no minor changes. Finally, Mr. Connolly signed and Ryan signed both copies. They shook hands and Ryan assured them that until the staff here was up to the standard he would be handling the account. Mr. Raft made a crass comment about working with Gwen again, forgetting that Gwen wasn’t his primary assistant anymore, and Ryan held back the urge to drop-kick the old man as the Domtar reps left his office. Ryan motioned for Lisa to come in. Ryan took his seat as Lisa came in and shut the door.

“How are things going for tonight?”

“Good, though it might take some convincing Gwen to go to Starlite without you.”

"I will message her after the meetings this morning that I couldn’t pick her up and want her to meet me there, though I might be late. Get Simons to be in charge of getting her there. He’s persuasive that way.” The thought made him shiver how persuasive Gabriel could be with women, but Gwen worked with him for two years, she could put up with him. “What else do we have today?”

“You’ve got a couple of interviews with up and coming tech companies and then we are pretty much free for the rest of the day,” Lisa said looking down at her phone.

“Ok let’s make plans to fly back early,” Ryan instructed as he paced in front of the windows. “Did you get everything coordinated? Flowers? Caterers?” Turning around to face Lisa, unable to hide his nervousness.

“Yes, everything is exactly as you requested. Did you put this much effort into your proposal?” Lisa leaned back in the chair realizing they weren’t talking about work anymore.

“I did fly her to Paris, so yes. I never do things half-ass.” Ryan said with a cocky grin on his face.

“I can tell. Have you heard from the board yet about her promotion?” Lisa’s face held concern. Ryan had told her about the promotion opportunity after the abduction. Lisa was thrilled that Gwen would have something to look forward to but the board was taking their time making a final decision.

“No, I need to check in with them.” His grin turned into something more serious. Ryan felt Lisa’s nerves from across the room. A lot was riding on this promotion.

“I’m worried about the long term effect on her confidence.” Lisa finally said it, even though they both were worried about the same thing.

“She’s so busy with this foundation, I don’t think it’s bothering her too much. I think getting back to work and being busy again is going to be good for her. I promise I’m taking good care of her Lisa.” Ryan tried to convince not just Lisa, but himself that everything was going to work out although inside Ryan was also worried about Gwen’s confidence.

“I know you are. It’s hard going from the first in line to the second, you know - to jump in front of a bullet for her.” Lisa’s face was downcast. She loved that her friend was marrying the man of her dreams but it also meant that her position in Gwen’s life had shifted.

“I’m just glad there is going to be someone around if something bad happens to me.” The words came out of Ryan’s mouth quicker then he could catch them. There was always a real risk of doing business, especially international business. You didn’t get to where Ryan was without a few enemies here and there. He never cared about that, but now that Gwen was in his life, Ryan started to rethink the importance of keeping those issues under a tight lid.

“Let’s hope nothing happens, I don’t know if I could save her if she loses you.” Lisa rode the emotion of the room. She just didn’t know if she could save Gwen.

“You misjudge her strength.” Ryan tried to turn the conversation back to the positive.

“The same could be said about you.” Ryan looked at Lisa curiously. When she realized Ryan was looking for an explanation she continued. “There was a guy when she first started at the company, but he’s completely inconsequential. Long story short, he broke her, she took a long time to get back in the game. She lives for you. When you are gone, she doesn’t have the same spark in her eyes. Losing you would be very devastating.”

“I feel the same way about her.” Ryan hadn’t thought of Gwen having relationships with other men after Chuck and before him. It explained her guarded behaviours.

“I know. Once in a lifetime; what you guys have is once in a lifetime.” Lisa smiled. Now that Lisa knew Gwen’s whole story, it was even more important to her that Gwen got the love that she deserved.

Ryan just smiled, she was right, he had never felt like this with Caroline or any other girl for that matter. The rest of the morning he interviewed potential tech companies who were looking for funding. He and Lisa went out for lunch to discuss the final plans for Gwen's birthday party. Ryan needed to get back to New York and pack for the weekend at the beach house without Gwen knowing he was there. He had texted her after his meetings saying he wasn’t going to be back until late but to go and enjoy her evening by going out and having fun.

~

Gwen could hear her phone buzzing in her purse while she was in a meeting with the wedding planner. The woman’s name was Wendy Honeywell and she had already put together several things. She was a cute, petite little woman who had an infectious smile. Gwen had to work hard not to imagine Wendy sitting across from Ryan with her flirty little laugh.

“You think you can get this wedding organized in just under two months?” She was skeptical of it all. This was not how she wanted to plan her wedding. Gwen, like any other girl in the world who wanted to get married, wanted to plan it herself with the occasional help from their spouse to be. This felt like a rushed shotgun wedding.

“I’ve been able to get a wedding put together in twenty-four hours, two months is nothing.” Wendy was confident and it showed. Gwen could respect a confident businesswoman. “I just have a few questions Mr. Carter couldn’t answer and then I can have the invites ready for mail out on Monday.” She said while looking down at her notepad.

“And what questions are those?”  _ You mean Ryan didn’t have every answer! Whoa, Gwen! Dial down the snark girl, this is a great thing - he wants to marry you.  _

“Did you want your parent’s names on the invite? Like Gwen Richmond, daughter of Ethan and Elizabeth Remington.” Wendy’s tone changed. She showed respect to the fact that Gwen even after all this time was still sensitive to her parent’s death.

Gwen swallowed, talking about her parents made her uncomfortable. “What was Mr. Carter’s opinion, regarding his parents?”

“He was fine with including his parents if you were.”

“Let’s go ahead then with that. Any other questions Mr. Carter couldn’t answer?”

“He didn’t know if you had any preferences on colour or theme.”

“What would you suggest?” Gwen was starting to like this woman, just a little bit. She seemed very professional and put together, not a woman out to try and steal her man.

“We could play on the season with golds and reds?”

“Mr. Carter likes red. Let’s do what you suggested, I think it would be nice to use the fall as a theme. Well, Miss Honeywell, I have to say I’m impressed. Please feel free to email me any decisions you feel need my attention.”

“I’m honoured to do your wedding Miss Richmond. I’m not going to lie, doing this wedding is going to launch my career. Oh, one more thing before I forget. Who is designing your dress?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t think about it. I will get back to you by the end of next week.”

“Perfect. Here is a list of options I would like for you to look over as well if you could. Thank you for meeting with me.”

“Of course, have a good day Miss Honeywell.” Gwen got up and opened the office door to let Wendy out. Once the door was closed again, she couldn’t help but giggle.  _ I’m getting married! _

Gwen sat down at her desk. She wanted to tell Miss Honeywell that there was not to be any more closed-door meetings with her fiancée but decided that it was going to be a discussion to have with Ryan instead. It was barely a moment of silence when a knock came on the door. Gwen sighed and furrowed her brow, she was done with meetings for the day who could it be.

“Come in.”

Gabriel poked his head into her office. “You need a break?”

“Oh my goodness, I need lunch. My second last meeting ran over my lunch hour and my last meeting was unfortunately punctual.” Gwen was happy it was Gabriel. It was rare for him to have work for her to do, therefore any visit from him was purely on a friendship level.

“Lunch it is. Our favourite restaurant?” Gabriel put his arm around Gwen’s shoulder as they walked out of her office. He was a chronic flirt but it was always superficial. He was madly in love with Jocelyn Halstead from the communications department and no woman could sway his feelings.

“You are incorrigible. We only had one lunch together, alone. It’s hardly OUR favourite restaurant.” Gwen didn’t even bother shooing his arms away, he would’ve put it right back around her shoulder. After she had come back from Indianapolis, Gabriel had stopped by for a visit and it had taken everything in him not to cry as he told her how worried and scared he was. This was his way of saving face from that one moment of vulnerability.

“Oh, you like it when I flirt with you.” Gabriel gave her a playful wink.

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night.” They entered the elevator where Gabriel finally let go of her shoulder and pressed the button for the main floor. “And what about Jocelyn?”

“Jocelyn is well aware that I’m a chronic flirt and she knows that she’s the only one I want.” Gabriel shrugged as if his behaviour was normal and acceptable.

“Aw Gabe, that’s heartwarming.” Gwen started to mock him as the doors to the elevator opened up.

“Do you want to go for lunch or do you want to keep mocking me?” His voice implied his feelings were hurt but his eyes. Oh, his eyes were as playful as ever.

“Lunch!” 

Gwen and Gabriel went down the street to Felipe, the most sought after Italian restaurant. Many Carter Corporation employees came to Felipe and Felipe himself was more than willing to accommodate his best customers. They ordered their drinks and meals settling in, they talked about the foundation for the majority of their lunch. When the bill came Gabriel picked it up.

“I would think that out of the two of us, I have more money than you,” Gwen said teasingly.

“I never let a woman pay, even if she is paying with my boss’s money.” Gabriel pulled out his wallet and put down a cash payment.

“A true gentleman.” Gwen pretended to swoon.

Gabriel winked at her. There was a time when she almost fell for his charm but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. She was glad that he’d stuck around as long as he did, he turned into a good friend over the years.

“Want to go for drinks tonight?” Gabriel asked as they walked back to the office.

“I don’t know, Ryan… Oh wait I haven’t checked my phone, maybe he’s messaged me.” Gwen pulled out her phone and read the message she received while she was in her meeting. “You know what, yes. I haven’t been out in a long time, Ryan said he’s going to be late getting back and he’s insisting I go out.”

Gabriel winked at her and opened the door to the building. Lisa was right, Gwen would only accept if Ryan had given her a reason to stay out. She had come into her own since working for Ryan, though Gabriel was sure a lot had to do with their relationship as well. She was confident, stood tall and owned the room she was in. Only those who knew her well enough could see the little tells that gave away her insecurities.

Gwen wasn’t interrupted for the rest of the day and was able to get some work done. She debated about going home to get a dress to go out or to simply pick a dress from Ryan’s closet in his office. He insisted she kept some of her clothes at the office just in case. On the other hand, she could go home to make a birthday cake for herself plus do a blog post if she left now and could still make it for drinks with Gabriel. Just as she thought of him, Gabriel poked his head in the door.

“Ready to go rock star?!” Gabriel was wearing a smart leather jacket, his tie was gone and the top two buttons of his shirt were undone. 

“We aren’t going for drinks now are we? I still need to get changed and have supper.”

“Oh don’t worry about supper. Do you have something here or do you need to go home?”

“I think I should have something appropriate in Ryan’s office. Meet you out front?” Gwen shut down her computer and grabbed her phone, purse and keys.

“Oh no, I’ll wait in the lobby and walk you down, it’s what a gentleman would do.” Gabriel held open the office door to let her out and grabbed the keys from her hand.

“And you are nothing but a gentleman.” Gwen burst out laughing as she walked out of her office while Gabriel locked it up for her. She made her way to Ryan’s office, which was open because she had been dropping off files all day. It was rare that she ever entered his office without him there and even rarer at night. The sunset over the skyline was amazing from his fiftieth-floor windows. Gwen stared at the empty chair, imagining him sitting in there with his grey-blue eyes staring at her intimidatingly. She remembered their first night together in this office. The city lights lit the room up enchantingly. Compared to those people, the Ryan and Gwen of today were almost a little dull.  _ Well, that’s what happens when you let an ex’s brother kidnap you, pump you full of heroin and clobber you with a bat. Most men would have left after a week. But Ryan… _ Gwen remembered why she was in the office and turned away from the window towards the closet that was beside the bathroom door. A light in the closet lit up when the doors opened and Gwen smiled. Ryan had reorganized his closet and brought his favourite dresses of hers, he had put them in with the shoes and accessories he thought would go well with them. Gwen remembered when she first started working for him, he told her it would be her job to make sure he was suitably dressed,  _ I think he realized quite quickly it was him whose job it was to dress me _ . 

Remembering the red dress Ryan gave her for that first gala auction she attended, Gwen pulled out an off the shoulder red number, matching pumps and the teardrop earrings and necklace that Ryan had bought her while they were in Africa. At first, he had to reassure her that they were not blood diamonds, he had brought her to the jeweller who turned around and took them out to tour the mines. Gwen was satisfied to find happy hard-working people who were being taken care of.  _ Why did I ever doubt that Ryan wouldn’t be extra sure that the diamonds were taken from ethically minded mine owners?  _ She let her hair out of the bun and brushed it out. She had to be gentle because of the extension that was put in to cover up the area of her scalp they had to shave to repair her skull. When she was happy with the outcome, she touched up her make up and walked out of Ryan’s office, locking it behind her.

“I’m ready now.”

Gabriel sat on one of the lobby couches with his mouth wide open. It was like the Gwen he knew went in but someone completely different walked out.

“If you keep your mouth open any longer you are going to catch flies.” Gabriel got up and offered her his arm.

“You are very funny Miss Richmond. I’m sorry it’s been a while since I’ve seen you dressed up for a night out. And you made the effort for me?” Gabriel winked as he pressed the elevator button

“Ryan said he’d meet me at Starlite, so sorry this is not for you but him.” Gwen tried to be truly apologetic but she wasn’t sorry.

“It’s always for him. Well, I at least get you to myself for a short period. Make all the men jealous that I get to escort Gwen Richmond out for the evening.”

“Whatever makes you feel better Simons.”

They got into the elevator and headed down to the main floor. Hank was waiting for them at the front door. As she walked out the door with Gabriel beside her, his hand hovering over the middle of her back, she saw a flash from across the street. She sighed, this picture would either be one accusing her of cheating on Ryan or be about the scar that you could partially see. She hadn’t thought about her scar until just now and quickly covered her chest with her clutch as more flashes came. She’d rather they accuse her of cheating then talk about how she received the scar.

Gabriel got in after her and directed Hank to an address she didn’t know. She looked at him inquisitively but Gabriel refused to acknowledge her. It turned out to be an elegant eatery.

“I was instructed to make sure you were fed.” Was the only thing Gabriel said while he continued to look out the window.

“Why do I feel more like a pet than a person.” Gwen was looking out her window watching the city fly by as they made their way towards their destination.

“That should be a good thing right? That means people care about you, want what’s best for you.”

“Yes, but I don’t need to be treated with kid gloves if you know what I mean. I know that I went through some trauma but it’s not the first time.” Gwen let out a sigh of frustration. 

“Hopefully it was the last. I think we are just trying to deal with our fear. It shook all of us; your friends that is. I know you made a choice but our lives lost a bit of its shimmer when we thought you weren’t coming back.”

They arrived outside a small boutique sushi restaurant. Hank got out and opened the door letting Gabriel out first who turned and offered his hand to Gwen to help her out of the car. Inside, Gabriel escorted her to their table. Many people recognized her and when they were about to take out their cell phones to snap a picture, Hank who followed them in gave the other patrons a staredown. They ordered drinks and chatted about different things. At the end of their meal, Gabriel once again footed the bill and escorted her back out to the town car. In the car, Gwen reached into her purse for her phone to find notifications from a few gossip magazines. As she thought, there was a picture of her and Gabriel walking out of the office building together with the headline “ _ While Carter Is Away, Does Gwen Get to Play?” _ When Gabriel saw the header he laughed out loud. 

“I’m going to print and frame that in my office. Best picture of us together!”

Gwen just shook her head, another notification popped up that made her cringe.  _ “Should Gwen Richmond Consider A New Style #scarsarentsexy”  _ Gabriel, noticing her discomfort and seeing her face took the phone. Reading the title of the article and seeing the close up of Gwen at the restaurant specifically focusing on the scar that went from just under her throat and disappearing into her dress, he shut it down and threw it in the front seat.

“Don’t listen to them, they don’t know what they are talking about. The only person’s opinion about how you look that matters are Ryan’s and I think he’s made it clear that you could be covered in scars and he’d still love you. Stop fidgeting, you look great, people are idiots. Plus if Carter ever said anything contrary to that, I’ll take him out back myself.”

Despite a tear streaming down her face, Gwen let out a nervous laugh and she quickly wiped it away. Call her a cheat and a slut she couldn’t care less, Ryan knows her well enough to know it’s not true. But going after her physical appearance was low, even for the tabloids. She couldn’t do anything about her scars, she had no control and she wasn’t about to hide her body because of surgery. She knew she had to be strong, otherwise, Ryan would know that something was bothering her and Gwen needed to prove to him that she was ok, that she wouldn’t let the tabloids get to her, and that she was up to the challenge of being in his world.

They arrived at Starlite for ten in the evening and the bar already had a line up around the corner. Gwen and Gabriel went to the VIP lineup and entered the bar. The DJ was playing a round of hit songs as Gabriel directed Gwen to the bar where he had caught a glimpse of Lisa scurry into the back room. He ordered drinks for both of them and sat down beside her.

“Did you notice all the guys staring at you?” Gabriel elbowed her gently to try and get her in a better mood. Ryan would kill him for letting her spiral especially on her birthday of all days.

“Did you notice all the women staring at you?” Gwen spat back but smiled, Gabriel was always good at distracting her from herself.

“Would you believe me if I said that ever since Jocelyn, I haven’t been interested in looking at any of these women?” Gabriel’s face softened at the statement. Gwen could tell he was truly dedicated to her friend and it was nice to see Gabriel’s change of character because of his relationship with Jocelyn.

“I feel the same way about Ryan. But then again, before Ryan, no one noticed me.” Gwen couldn’t help but take a stab at herself. She was never good at talking kindly about herself.

"That’s a bald-faced lie! You’ve done everything you could to be invisible but to say that no one has noticed you, that’s a lie. Matt, Mark and I all noticed you but you made it clear that no one was worthy. Now that you aren’t hiding, you also aren’t blind anymore and see everyone noticing you now.”

“Can I tell you something? Just between you and me.” Gwen got more serious and desperate to talk to someone about her real feelings.

“There’s not a secret I can’t keep.” Gabriel leaned closer so that he could hear without her having to yell over the music.

“I feel lost and out of place since I came back to work. I found purpose in being Ryan’s assistant. I don’t feel like I’m a part of the corporation anymore, running this foundation.” Gabriel had never seen so much sadness in his friend’s eyes before and it pricked his heart a little.

“I think you’ll find your place sooner than you think.” Gabriel had become part of the small tight group of people who knew of the impending job promotion. “You were born for greatness and if Ryan doesn’t see it, someone else will and make you an offer you can’t refuse. I don’t think Ryan would begrudge you furthering your career with another company.”

“I don’t want to work for anyone else. I just want to work for Ryan, Carter Corporation.”

“Let me share a little secret with you. You are the first person to ever run a project idea from start to finish. I’ve brought proposals to the board before and those that were accepted Ryan took them over. Looking back, I see why he did it. I am not one project material. I can’t just focus on one client. I like to manage many clients. But you always loved it when you got to work with an established client and you worked hard on this project proposal, most projects presented to the board have never had this much detail before. You are one of a kind, Ryan sees that and he’s doing everything in his power to make sure you shine. And I truly believe that even if your relationship had gone nowhere he still would have supported your quick climb up the corporate ladder. You are his diamond in the rough. He’s been looking for a person like you to integrate into his business. Your relationship is purely personal and has no implications for your work.”

“You are very sweet Gabriel. Thank you for your encouragement. I will try and remember that.”

“Ryan is trying to figure out a position for you to fill. He just hasn’t found it yet. Or he has and is playing it very close to the vest.”

“That sounds like him.” Gwen rolled her eyes and pounded back her drink.

“What sounds like who?” A voice came up from behind Gwen and suddenly someone’s hands were on her shoulder. She spun around ready to clobber the idiot who thought it was appropriate to just go up and touch her when she saw that it was Ryan she let out a squeal and jumped into his arms.

“You made it. How was your flight?” Gwen felt all of her doubts and fears melt away at just the sight of Ryan.

“Good. How was your day?” Ryan wrapped his arms around her waist and couldn’t help but smile at her cheery disposition.

“It was ok. Where’s Lisa?” Gwen started to look around for her good friend.

“She wanted to stop by her apartment to get changed. Jake is bringing her back as soon as she’s ready.”

“I was worried you weren’t going to make it tonight.” A wave of sadness washed across her face.

“I made it. You look amazing. I knew this dress was just right.” Ryan gave her a once over and gave her a wink of approval

“Not according to FashionCentral.”

“I saw that, what do they know anyway? Have you seen the comments of support for you?”

“You know I don’t bother with that anymore, I get enough on my blog. I’m surprised you haven’t said anything about the other “news”.”

“Well that was just funny, I was thinking about printing it out and framing it for Gabriel. They got his good side this time.” 

Gwen just shook her head and when she looked back to include Gabriel in the conversation he was gone from his seat. She looked back at Ryan confused about where their friend disappeared to but Ryan ignored it and offered her hand.

“Come with me, my little minx.” She placed her hand in his as he led her through the large sea of people.

“Where are you taking me?” Gwen yelled loudly for him to hear. Ryan paused spinning her around, the heat of his breath tickled her ear as he whispered.

“I wanted to have a private moment with you as midnight struck.”

“What do you mean?” Gwen was confused. “What is so special about midnight?”

“You didn’t think I’d forgotten about your birthday did you?” Ryan had a sultry look in his eyes that stirred a fire in the pit of her stomach. He grabbed her hand again and continued to take her towards the back of the bar. When they got in front of the curtain of the VIP section, Gwen’s heart started to beat a little faster. A flash memory of the times they had been wild and intimate at the bar came to her causing her centre to become wet. She now looked at him with lust in her eyes. Her hands caressed his face.

“Well you made it seem like going to the beach house wasn’t for a special occasion.” Ryan caressed her face in return, he now hated the fact that in a few seconds they wouldn’t be alone. He peered at his watch to make sure they were still on time.

“Any time with you is a special occasion but your birthday makes it even better. Ok, here we go, three, two, one…” Ryan twirled her around and gently pushed her through the set of curtains and everyone cried out. “Happy Birthday!”

Gwen was shocked and blushed at the thoughts going through her head. She imagined Ryan had rented this room and it would be empty, for just the two of them. She didn’t even imagine that Ryan had planned things to this level. Everyone that was invited came and gave her hugs and birthday wishes. There was a row of tables with the most deliciously beautiful food including a simple and elegant cake with a G monogram topper. When everyone had given her hugs she turned around and gave Ryan a hug and a kiss him. Tears welled up in her eyes, as she felt the outpouring of love and appreciation from those who were there. Even Colin came despite his apparent dislike for clubs. 

Everyone mingled, ate food, drank booze and danced the night away. Finally, at three A.M., the bartender insisted they needed to leave. Lisa and Jenny both promised to come back in the morning to clean up. Gwen thanked everybody for coming and let Ryan escort her out back to the parking lot. She was fairly tipsy from all the booze she consumed that it wasn’t until she saw the Aston Martin that she suddenly sobered up.

Ryan had been leading her by the hand when suddenly he was jerked back by Gwen when she stopped moving in the middle of the parking lot. He looked at her but could tell she wasn’t in the moment. Something was wrong.

“Gwen.” Ryan finally put himself between Gwen and whatever was captivating her, she started to blink as tears began to well up in her eyes. He could see that panic was taking over her body but he couldn’t figure out what to do about it. “Gwen, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t. I can’t. I can’t”

“You can’t what, Gwen?”

“I can’t” she pointed to the car and then it hit him.  _ What an idiot am I? _ Ryan thought and he quickly grabbed his phone and texted Hank who stuck around making sure their guests found a safe ride home.

“Ok, Gwen. We don’t have to take the Aston. Hank will drive us to the beach house.” Ryan held her, stroking her hair and back trying to make her feel safe again.

Gwen kept saying she was sorry, over and over - it broke Ryan’s heart that she felt the need to apologize at all when he was the dolt to think that everything was fine and dandy. He was getting bad vibes from the car. He knew Julio had taken her in the Aston but she never told him any details. 

Hank came running into the back parking lot, Ryan immediately let go of Gwen as Hank leaned down to her level, grabbed her face and spoke to her as if Ryan wasn’t even there. At first, Ryan didn’t like the fact that Hank was so intimate with Gwen but as he listened to Hank talk Gwen down it dawned on him that perhaps this wasn’t the first time this happened. He could see Gwen physically start to calm and her face relaxing. Her breathing was becoming normally paced and she had stopped crying. She looked over at Ryan after Hank had let go of her with a look of shame on her face.

“I’m sorry Ryan. I had hoped you never would have had to see that.” Tears began to well up again in her eyes. Ryan immediately took her back in his arms.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I was blinded by your progress that I forgot that you could still be suffering from PTSD. Are you ok? That is my only concern.”

“I’ll be ok but I’d like to go home now.”

“Absolutely.” With her close to his body Ryan walked her to the car. Within five minutes of driving, she was sleeping soundly on Ryan’s lap.

“I called Jake to bring the Aston back to the house and I would pick him up from there.”

“Thank you, Hank. And thank you for whatever you did back there. I take it this wasn’t the first time she’s had this panic attack.”

“No, sir. She had one in the elevator just as she was about to enter the parking garage earlier this week.” Hank looked uncomfortable telling Ryan about Gwen’s experience in the parking garage. Gwen was his boss, she had made that clear when they signed the contract. But Hank also knew that it was time for Ryan to know.

“So that’s why she’s been finding excuses to use the front door?” Her unusual behaviour was starting to add up now.

“Yes, sir.”

“What should I do Hank? I feel like everyone is supporting her but me.” Hank looked in the rearview mirror to see a man who was normally stoic and well put together, was now panicked and lost.

“It happens a lot with PTSD. Those on the outside of a trauma think and feel like everything is normal and it truly can be, but the triggers will always be there. You need to learn to anticipate potential triggers for her. Such as the Aston Martin, the parking garage, perhaps even the private jet and even the thought of travelling to Indianapolis could trigger her PTSD. Mr. Carter if I can be candid, sometimes it’s best for the person suffering to have outside help. Miss Richmond knows the lengths and sacrifices you made for her and she feels she owes you by being well adjusted around you, hence the persistent apologizing.”

“So this feeling of uselessness?” Ryan looked down at the now peaceful face of his fiancee, stroking her hair.

“Very common. Eventually, she won’t need as much outside support, how much time that takes, only she will know. Be patient and recognize when she’s been pushed too far, and reach out to her support system for them to tell her to take a break. Be the man behind the woman, in this case, know who she needs before she needs them. It’s hard and you’ll make mistakes but she’s going to feel more guilty about letting you know she’s not fine then mad about you making a mistake.” Hank tried to encourage this man who was so in love with his boss.

“Thanks, Hank. So I can count on you?” Resolve emanated from Ryan’s face now, there was a plan now and Ryan didn’t need to be the centre of the plan which Hank appreciated, he wished more partners could be as understanding about that when it came to PTSD.

“One hundred percent sir. Here we are, remember to try to act as if nothing has changed, like none of it ever happened, she’ll know you are her safe place to hide when the memories of a scarier world try and find her.”

“You sound like you’ve been through this yourself.” 

“I have been on both sides of PTSD. My father was a soldier and I learned from my mother how to deal with it. She never confronted him herself, always called one of his buddies to come over and talk him down. She just acted like everything was as it was before his trauma. And then I suffered from PTSD, lost the love of my life because she couldn’t understand I needed her to be my normal so I can face my demons around someone else, someone who I didn’t care about hurting their feelings.”

"Thanks again, Hank.” Ryan gently shook Gwen’s shoulder to wake her up. “Gwen sweetheart, we are at the beach house.”

Gwen woke up, groggy and a little disconcerted about where she was. Pulling herself up, a flood of what happened before at the club hit her and she started to wring her hands. Ryan grabbed them which brought her focus to his face.

“It’s alright. Let’s go to bed and get some sleep alright?”

Gwen couldn’t answer with any words just nodded and slid towards the open door of the town car. She made a beeline for the bedroom, took off her dress and bra, climbed into her side of the bed and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep. She heard Ryan come in and the sound of the town car pull out of the driveway. The sound of his clothes dropping to the floor echoed in her ears. She felt the sheets shift as he lifted them to get in and suddenly felt his body against hers and his arm surrounding her. He whispered in her ear that everything was going to be alright and that he was here for her no matter what and with that the tears began to fall and within seconds she was sobbing. He didn’t pry about what was wrong, he just stroked her hair and told her it’s alright, keeping his arms tightly wrapped around her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers,  
> Well, it has been a hot minute since I last posted and I thank you for being patient and understanding. A lot has been happening in the world and it has taken a toll on everyone. I've been struggling with my mental health and with the restrictions, our province put into place Tarkana and I haven't been able to get together to even think of working on our editing.  
> Summer is now here which puts another kink into getting together as I go off on a road trip with my family. I hope you can remain patient with us as we figure out a more consistent release schedule.  
> Don't forget to drop some kudos and subscribe to the story. Above all stay happy and healthy in this uncertain time.  
> xo AzhureAxis

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I learned a lot from writing the first installment of my fanfiction and I want to say if there is any delay between chapters it is because I want it to be just right! I want things to be sophisticated and poised and for me, that takes extra time. It has been a while since I first drafted this season and so as I read it and tweak it and make sure that everything still lines up it might take me a little extra time.
> 
> In the meantime, if you haven't already left a kudos and comment about this chapter, please do so. I would love to hear your thoughts and theories on what's coming up. Be sure to bookmark the story so you can know when the next chapter is updated. Until the next chapter!


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